God, employment, life recently, and rambling.

I haven't written in so long. And it seems like what's happened between the last post and the post now is a completely different season. And I feel it is. It seems like as soon as Spring began, God began a new season in me, complete with weeding out the mess, and planting youthful buds in its place.

I was scared to death before my interview. I heard the previous intern making the three interviewers laugh, while I sat on the outside peeking through the window and wondering if I could remember any funny jokes to one up this person. She wanted the job anyway. I didn't know anything about JJ [Juvenile Justice] except that you worked with the "bad kids." I hadn't even considered interviewing for it until I got a letter in the mail informing me that the position was open for interviews. I decided I would interview anyway, because I needed the practice, and the more interviews I went to, the more familiar my face would become.

As I walked in, it was a bit intimidating. I had never interviewed with more than one person at a time. Not only was it three people, but two out of the three people looked very well put together.

The questions began. Critical thinking questions. Questions that usually terrify me because although I can answer them with little struggle on paper, spouting the answers out loud usually leaves me tongue-tied and embarrassed. I felt like I had an out-of-body experience, because each question I was able to answer professionally and without struggle. I watched in slow motion as the interviewers were continually impressed with answer after answer, and me wondering where this was all coming from. It felt as if someone else took hold of my body [um, GOD] and answered those questions instead of me. I even answered a question a way that they had never heard before. And they have been interviewing for a loooong time.

I walked out of the interview feeling fairly confident, but also knowing that the competition was cutthroat. I was just relieved to be through with it.
I got a call that night at cracker barrel.
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"Thank you for calling your Jackson Cracker Barrel, this is Ashley, how may I help you?"

"Is this the Ashley we interviewed this morning?"

"Yes ma'm."

"We have been trying to get ahold of you, girl! We've left voicemails and everything! I was calling to check your reference that you left, but I want to talk to you also."

"Oh, ok! I'm sorry you haven't been able to get ahold of me. I've been at work since I left training."

"Oh no, that's fine. Well Ashley, I just wanted to call and let you know that we were VERY impressed with your interview...and [at this point, I knew it was coming, somehow I knew]we wanted to offer you the position. Is that something you'd be interested in?"

"YES!" followed by squeals and shouts.
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They weren't joking. They left THREE voicemails. They really really loved me.

Fast forward to the present. DCS works in teams. My team is:
Pat-team leader
Holly
Kim
Domica
Travis


I LOVE all of them!!! My supervisor (Pat) is SO amazing and helpful. It is such a positive work environment, despite the work that we do! And I am really excited to get started!

The way that a child gets put into JJ is the child either violates probation or commits delinquent acts (acts that if the child were an adult, they would be charged/incarcerated) that places them on probation. It is my job to get them out of a facility (if they are in one) and get them off of probation. An example of a facility would be a youth detention center. I develop and implement a plan to get the child out of the facility and back in the home, or off of probation.

Basically, no matter how intimidating it sounds, I'm beginning to really get pumped for this job! I have been shadowing case workers, and although I think I'll get a lot of flack at first (because I'm new, because I'm too "white girl", lol etc.) I think I will know how to do the job very effectively.

How do I have this confidence in myself? That's what's amazing about it. I don't. But God grabs hold of me at work all of the time. It's like I have this 6th sense called Social Worker. It comes out at times and I am automatically able to assess how to handle a situation. I know that there will be times where I will fall flat on my face because God will allow it, but I know that other times, God will be guiding my every step. That is so comforting.

God has also protected me in this job. A couple of days after I got hired, they made budget cuts that took away 161 jobs in the region. But I was safe, because my supervisor did what she was supposed to do to get me locked in, while unfortunately, two other classmates were hired, and then got their positions taken away due to budget cuts. God has protected me.

God is teaching me in this new season as well. He has been teaching me to be content no matter the situation, and most of all, to TRUST that situation. The times when we go through rough waters are times when God may be using us to witness to others. He may be using that to perfect our influence as a follower of Christ. I cannot question whatever comes my way, even if I believe that God told me something, and then something else happens. I must accept that God is GOD, and He can change His mind whenever He pleases. Too often I treat God like He's not God. Instead, He's this scapegoat to blame when things get bad, and my best friend when things are good.

I think on this, and I am ashamed.

And I know that all my life, God has had this protective bubble around me. My life is annointed, and I can't figure out why He chose me. All I know is that things always tend to go not only right for me, but better than a lot of others. And I don't deserve that. I deserve the worst of the worst. But God protects. God perseveres. God loves.

As I reflect on these things, I don't do it to brag and to say that I'm so much more blessed than anyone else. Time will come where I will struggle hard. I have struggled hard this past year, but not like I deserve. It's simply to praise God and His goodness:

I have never had a broken bone in my body, despite being clumsy.
I have never gotten hurt in wrecks that could have cost me my life.
I have always been provided for; I've never seriously struggled [despite what I might sometimes selfishly think]
I have had no serious health problems
I have been protected in storms
I have never lost a loved one besides due to natural causes
I have never gotten seriously sick on a mission trip
I have a job the day before graduation. a Job that pays more than I've ever made in my life
I have a place to rest my head before I get married...and a place to start my marriage household at

These are just a few of the many blessings God has chosen to bestow on me. But the beauty of all of this, is even if all of that had been negative... if all of that had been reversed, and it actually had or hadn't happened to me...I should still have the same attitude. And God's teaching me that, bit by bit. It's so much more of a challenge to praise Him in the dark times. I admire those that can, those that have that down. Those that did lose things in the storm, that have health problems, that don't have jobs or plans...those that trust God through all of THAT...I hope to one day be like you.

I have gone through a lot with Wesley in the time we've been together. I love him now more than ever before. He has such a pure, youthful heart. I admire that so much. I only wish circumstances could be different so that we could have the experience we both wanted to have in getting married. But he has been married before, and I've had many boyfriends. Neither of us waited for one another, but still, God has maintained those "first relationship" butterflies. I know they will fade, and have begun to, but what has replaced it is an even deeper emotion of unconditional love, love past anything that person might do to get on your nerves, loves past their mistakes and flaws. It's so beautiful. I thank God He has purified our hearts back to the place that they should be, and that we will stand at that altar with pure commitments and pure hearts. I LOVE it! God is a God of restoration. I've learned that more than ever this past year.

Praise Him. Praise Him. Praise Him.
Praise Him that He doesn't weigh His love according to our obedience. Praise Him that He doesn't see us for who we are, but for who we can be.

His love is overwhelming.