Sunday, September 16, 2007

Field Day

I checked the plastic Dollar General bag one more time to make sure the Tupperware container hadn't leaked. I wound the handles around it and fastened it with a rubber band. I grabbed the worn-in footstool from its normal spot, beneath the chair mom collapsed in after a day's work at the Winn-Dixie bakery. Opening the top cabinet, I placed the bottle in its original place, minus a cupful of its contents. I looked up at the clock on the wall. I was going to be late if I didn't start walking to the bus stop soon.
My palms were itching as I carried my clear backpack over my flanneled shoulder. I was supposed to meet Lauren and Katie in the girls' bathroom seven minutes before the second bell rang. My eyes shifted over each person in the hallway, searching for anyone with x-ray vision that might penetrate my backpack and see straight through the shopping sack. Entering the bathroom, I immediately noticed Lauren and Katie leaning against the tiled wall. They eyed me knowingly, and I reached into my bag, pulling out the container. The crinkling echoed off of the empty stalls.
I knew exactly how I had gotten myself into this mess. I was home alone, as was usual during most afternoons. I was talking on the phone using three-way. It was my favorite way to talk to Lauren and Katie. We were best friends, beginning that school year of eighth grade. We all had an equal hatred for the popular crowd, so we became the opposite of everything normal. They had regular drinking lives, and although I pretended to know a lot about it, the only alcohol I had ever had was from the communal cup at Catholic mass. That particular Wednesday, I bragged about all the alcohol my mother had in her liquor cabinet. Katie suggested I bring some to school for her, because she was “in the mood for something hard.” I nonchalantly asked her what she preferred, and Vodka was what I poured into the container the night before. I had snuck it right before my mom returned from work. She closed the door, pastry-scented and exhausted. I had butterflies in my stomach, and they were rebelling rapidly against their intestinal cage. Mom always had a psychic sixth sense, and I just knew she would notice what was missing from her collection.
Katie's face twisted in disgust as she drank from the Tupperware. She seemed to choke on it. I wondered how someone who had been so experienced could have such a hard time swallowing it down. “It's too strong for in the morning. Here; take it back. We'll save it for later.” I stepped backward as she tried to hand it to me. My eyes began to shift nervously. “No way. I thought I'd be through with that. I'm not taking it back.” Katie looked at me as if she were going to say something that would send me home crying, but then she turned to Lauren. “Here, you take it. Put it in your jacket.” Lauren had always been an acting minion of Katie's, and she quickly obeyed. I stared at Lauren. She had beady eyes, and she was overweight and intimidating. She stuck the container in her camouflaged pocket and felt my eyes piercing hers. “Whatever you do, do not let them trace it back to me if you get caught. Do not mention my name.” She nodded, and I asked her to verbally promise me that I would remain anonymous. She agreed, and I left the bathroom feeling only slightly comforted.
It was a field day, and the last Friday of classes before exam week. Katie, Lauren, and I had agreed to meet outside and sit on the sidelines, our usual routine for any organized activity. I clutched my yearbook in my hands, hoping that I could collect some signatures before the weekend. When my homeroom left for the halls, I waited by a stone table, the location we had agreed upon. I saw Katie exit from the black double-doors, but Lauren was nowhere to be found. She explained to me that Lauren had been taken to the Principal's office because the container had leaked in her jacket pocket. The Vice Principal was walking down the hall when the scent wafted in front of her. An officer was there to escort Lauren. I frantically asked Katie if she thought Lauren would reveal that I was the main culprit. She shrugged, pushing her dishwater-colored hair behind her ears. I only had fifteen minutes to wonder. My homeroom teacher came up to me, walkie talkie in hand, telling me that they needed me in the Principal's office.
The hallway seemed to stretch longer as I counted the lockers on either side of me. At the end of that walk was the Vice Principal, along with an elderly police officer. They sat me down, with Lauren in the chair beside me. I didn't want to ever look into those beady eyes again. They called my mother, and she sobbed so loud I could hear it from my seat on the other side of the desk. I wouldn't be able to complete the next week of school, they said. I would have to make up my exams the week after school let out.
That summer was the longest break of my life. My mother had decided my friends were bad influences, and so I wasn't allowed to talk to any of them. Rumor had it that Lauren had gotten revenge due to my betrayal. She developed her own story, telling Katie I had explained to the Principal how it had all been Katie's idea, and that I had nothing to do with it. My mother made me go to a psychiatrist. She wore expensive suits and too much makeup, asked me meaningless questions, and charged too much. One session, I told her that sometimes when I got depressed, I would cut my wrists with my razor. I explained how one of my classmates had noticed it once, and I said my cat had done it. I explained to the psychiatrist how that was impossible since I was allergic to cats. She raised her groomed eyebrows and said we would have to talk about that during our next meeting. I never saw her again. They had a hearing at the end of the summer, and although we thought it would look good that I had been to counseling and participated in various community services throughout the summer, they sent me to the Harrison County Alternative School.
Alternative school was a school for the bad kids. I heard stories from many of my classmates about the institution. I had only been in detention a total of three times in my whole educational history. I wasn't a bad kid. I kept to myself, not becoming comfortable with my surroundings until two months into the program. The bus was the worst part. If you didn't know someone, you weren't going to get a seat. I didn't know anyone, and each time I asked to sit with a stranger, they would roll their eyes and cuss underneath their breath. I eventually got in good with Daniel, a creepy, gawky guy who had an obsession with me because of my brown eyes. He called me a few times, always playing songs to me through the earpiece.
Not Katie, Lauren, or any of my other friends tried to contact me the whole time I was there. I was sure the rumor had spread to everyone in my group, and they thought I was a traitor to the circle. But I didn't care anymore. Because I realized the people I had chosen to be around weren't who I was. I had never been a deliquent, and because of them, I had become one. I had begun to sacrifice the integrity my father's family worked so hard to instill within me. It would stop here.
I worked extra hard to make straight A's while in alternative school. The great thing about the curriculum was that it was set at a very average level. I had plenty of time to read, and would often finish whole books in a single week period. I had been experimenting with writing, and began scribbling thoughts, stories, and poems in a notebook. Over time, the stories and poems became more and more developed. I became a favorite among the staff, and they even complained about how much they would miss me. They knew I didn't belong there, and they asked me to come back and visit and let them know how things were going.
My last day, I exited the building and breathed a sigh of relief. I knew the road ahead was going to be a very painful one. I had already encountered Katie and Lauren one morning while boarding the bus. They threw insults at me, shoving me and threatening to beat me up once I returned to our public school. They threw french fries at me during lunch break. They had convinced all of my friends that I was a horrible person, and I never regained the previous friendships I had before. I tried my hardest not to let it affect me. I poured all of my energy into writing and coursework. My teachers complimented me on how well I was excelling, and soon Lauren and Katie were no longer a concern to me. I made new friends; friends that my mom would actually let me stay the night with. Their friendship didn't jeopardize my identity. Instead, they encouraged me and provided support in all areas of my life. These are the friends I still have to this day.
I always laugh when I see the look of shock on someone's face when I tell them my past includes being kicked out of public school. I don't exactly use it as an icebreaker at parties, but it is a wonderful testament to God's divine intervention. They say they can't imagine me ever doing something like that. They try to couple who I am now with that insecure 8th grader, and it is impossible for them to do so. And that is exactly how it is supposed to be.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm trying to figure out if this is fiction or nonfiction. enlighten me?

either way, it's good.
i love the details. i liked reading about her time in alternative school.

Anonymous said...

i am also wondering if this is true, and if it is not true, it is at least convincing. or at least i am convinced. how many pages was that, 10ish? he is really making y'all write! thats good though, and even great.