My life has been very annoying lately.
I have decided I hate the process of getting married.
I don't hate the actual act of it; that is wonderful and amazing and a testament of how God brought me and Wesley together. What I hate is everyone thinking that I have to go with what they think I should have, and if I don't, they either see me as A) controlling and snobby or B) trying to make my wedding elaborate. It seems everyone in my family thinks I have an elaborate plan in mind. Nevermind the fact that we're getting married at a place that is fifty million miles in the boonies with no running water because we're trying to save money. Nevermind that we cut our honeymoon in half just so we could save money. Nevermind that we're choosing a reception site that is outside with no bathroom as well, because it's cheap. Nevermind all of that.
So what if I would like for the flower girl dress to not be poofy, seeing as none of the other dresses will be poofy, so that might look weird. And it's not like I'm hell bent on that. I just think it would look better. But I haven't communicated that it's that way or die. Not at all. But if I suggest ANY opinion about my OWN wedding, I'm viewed as this extravagant person.
This is why I want to hop in the car right now and go to Vegas.
And the Aunt I'm closest to has already said she can't help with wedding stuff the day before. Ok, this makes no sense, seeing as she has bent over backwards for people in our family that don't appreciate it. I can't understand why she's decided this, and it's very hurtful. She's one of the main persons I was depending on to help arrange flowers and such.
I know my sister is jealous of what I'm going to have, and she's going to make me as miserable as possible for it. I know she's going to have everything to say about things I choose and she's going to say something about the prices or choices. I know her. I know she is. I can't deal with that on my wedding day. I WON'T deal with that on my wedding day. No one is going to make me miserable. But I know she will try.
This is what's mostly been going on in my life.
Wesley and I did have a breakthrough. And it was beautiful. We both broke down before the Lord, and He has restored us in a supernatural way. I love it.
That is it. I'm just really burdened by my family right now. I don't know how I expected wedding details to go smoothly when they're involved. I don't know what I was thinking.
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2 comments:
i've been here.
i don't know if this can happen before fall break, but if you want to get together and talk about the stress of being engaged, i have So been there, and i will sympathize. and empathize.
i'm sorry you're going through this right now. i love you so much and i will do anything i can to help make your wedding go more smoothly.
we need to talk sometime. how does wednesday night look for you? my roommates are going camping and i'm not leaving until thursday. what about a sleepover? my place or yours, it doesn't matter. but classes will be over with for the week, and we can do whatever you want. or if we can't do a sleepover, we could at least get your ipod and go find a decent church parking lot.
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